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Yesterday

To Start off with, Thank you Vannah for the nice little text message.

I got my test score. WOOT! I just missed honors. Yay me!!

Thanks every one for your warm wishes from yesterday :)

Lost

Every thing having to do with collage, it's a pain in my a$$, Loans, scholarships, etc...it don't seem to end...I just need an extra 150/mth...that's all >,
[21:44] LiftedTrout: Let's discuss botany!
[21:44] *** Auto-response sent to LiftedTrout: Have to be up by 6 am est and off to work won't be back till about 7:30 pm est. If ya need something leave me a message. <3
[21:44] Me: Hn?
[21:44] LiftedTrout: what
[21:44] Me: Who are you?
[21:45] LiftedTrout: who are you
[21:45] Me: ><
[21:45] LiftedTrout: uh okay
[21:45] Me: You sent me a message frist, I would like to know who I am talking to
[21:45] LiftedTrout: wow what ever creeper
[21:46] Me: What in the world are you talking about?!


Any one know who that hell this is?
I really really want to go see Jo Dee Messina :[ But Denver says no go because of the fact he has to work >,< I wish he didn't work so much >,

Jul. 9th, 2008

If I live though tonight

There is light at the end right?
If the pain never stops,
and the tears keep falling.

Please...Please don't say you don't know why.


I'm think the last 9 years have been a wast....I need some one to be here for me....Really what happened after this pain stops...if it stops....
Oh my goodness, Denver and I went to Heath today to kill some time, and well we stopped at a pet store. They had the cutest ferret. He/she was very playful, and was finding lose skin on my hand and nipping at it while I was playing with it. I would have taken it home in a heart beat if I didn't have two cats and a dog in one house and I wasn't out of the house for almost 12 hours a day. But god I want one.

Looking...

Looking for stuff to do this summer, on Saturdays and Sundays. I don't want to spend this whole summer inside. I want to enjoy the nice weather while it's here.

Oct. 16th, 2007

Why is it that every time I talk to you, you find some way to ignore me? You let me know that you just wouldn't want to talk to me unless you need something. Unless you want to some how push into my face that you don't want me around, some how you don't talk to me. Lord help us all if I try to talk to you, what happens then? You ignore me. Screw you!!!

And you...finding any chance you can to cut me down, finding any way to let me know that I just don't fit in. Ya know what....THANKS! I know that, I don't need you and your short tempered partner letting know that you have a better life then us. Thanks. Just because you find it funny to say I don't know how to do any thing, don't give you a right to treat me stupid and allow your-self to vent upon me. I wish you the gift of "slow" children, may they show you how it feels.


You....the person that told me that you would be there for me, any time that I needed some one to talk you, but can't tell me a single true thing about you to save your pretty little face. Thanks so much. Next time I won't help your cause and offer you a place to chill out for a while when the heat is high. Find a new person to drive you around. Two faced.

Then there is you, who can't tell me to my face what you are saying be hide my back. Is your pretty little life to scary to mess up? Scared of what the monster might say. Please. I've know your no better then your spawn. Why would any one hope for any thing less. Jr.

Yes I know, I'm slow. Thanks for pointing that out. I had really thought that we had gotten past all of that once we got out of school, but I had guessed not. So glad that there are some people out there that I can really count upon when I need the help. Thanks!!! So glad to have you all in my life.
I desided this would make a good public post, and maybe see if I really nuts of if this is the "right" way to think.

I went to the doctors over a month ago and had every thing check out, and check up on, everything fine. Denver and I have been talking about starting a family, I scared, that made he's not ready. I'm scared with how spoiled he is that he would maybe get upset with the time I would be spending with our child? I don't want to lose the man that makes me so happy over a child, the child would win no hands down. We both have also made a change in our jobs, his would leave us with out any medical care. I don't want that either. I come to loving having it, in case of doctors or hospital trips. It really helps with the billing cost, but with the both of us up and finding new jobs in new job areas, we both would have to start at the bottom, I am fine with that for my-self but for him...I'm not. He's a hard worker. Yes he dose question things that he knows and thinks is not right, and yes he dose have a mouth.

I want the child, we are ready, though there is that other part in we that tells me to fear his "readiness " Any one out there that reads this have any idea how to figure out if he's just as ready as me?